Its been a few weeks of this hum drum kinda feeling. It happens when I let the creative part of me sit still.
I am not one to reach out or show you my smile upside down. I keep to myself, and hide away with curtains closed and answering machine msgs. I drink the milk from the carton and feel that ache in the arch of my back from sitting still too long.
My wardrobe turns to yoga pants and hair bands
It's been a tough month for me. I am hibernating, and concentrating and frustrating over the slightest of things.
But, I know for certain , something big is coming. I always seem to take shelter for a while, a shelter where ONLY the ones that I trust so very completely, with my very being, do I let in.
It's the evolution of sorts. It affects all parts of me and shifts begin. Sometimes I move, cities away. Sometimes I move, my body, hard and fast and sometimes, I stand completely still and something outside of myself moves me. A birth, a death, a understanding of why it is I do what I do.
Sometimes it comes easy , like the birth of baby pigs, many things, all at once, all over, slipping by.
Other times, its heavy, and hard, and I bleed with fear, anxiety and outright rage at God.
Tonight as I type this, I feel the presence of my saving grace, and I shall sleep on what will come or what will leave
shelley marshall
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